still dreaming about it

       

hole joke

it’s just you dig the hole to fill the hole and you dig the hole to fill the hole and you dig the hole to fill the hole and yet the hole remains the hole remains!!! its size invariably the same if not bigger*, composed of absence, a void - you’ve just shifted it elsewhere in a sisyphean attempt to escape from the emptiness of it all!!!!!!!!!!

knowing what you want out of life is a blessing. i’m still searching for it all these years later with nothing to my name, no substance no truth. such a sorry state to be in for so long, stasis still, meandering. equivocating. hard to be honest with yourself when you don’t know yourself to begin with but the soul searching has to stop somewhere. or go deeper, like uncomfortably deeper, like excruciatingly viscerally disgustingly deeper. plunging into the core. it’s like, what the fuck have i been doing all this time. where has all this time gone. that sort of thing. spoken from the depths. on the floor. from the center of the ruins. live and directly to you. lmao

ibroughtyoumybullets:

sunday is just i have to set my computer on fire i have to do laundry i have to find god i have to make tea i have to quit my job and start a new life in a different state i have to be more honest with the people around me i have to clean my room i have to cut my hair i have to be more deliberate with my hobbies and downtime i have to make a doctors appointment i have to go back to therapy i have to start dating i have to make more friends i have to go on a long drive i have to spend 4 hours disassociating in a target i have to paint my nails i have to tell my mother i love her. but instead i will simply sit. 

deranged (but essentially niche musictalk)

Keep reading

lilcowgirl7:

Kristi Coulter, Nothing Good Can Come from This

bitcoitus:

bitcoitus:

Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.

“Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being.“ — Robert Anton Wilson